


Golden

by Hiraelle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (only a secondary appearance for Harry), A little angst, F/F, Friends to Lovers, it always works out in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 05:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17575100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiraelle/pseuds/Hiraelle
Summary: After the war, Ginny is broken. At home she's broken and cold, at school she's broken and cold... At least Luna is always there. Until she isn't.A story about healing.





	Golden

There wasn't a cloud in the sky above the Burrow. The sun was shining bright and true, golden rays cascading down the roof and the walls and spreading lazily on the grounds like a pool of golden light.  
Ginny had escaped the house and was lounging on a patch of dry grass in the orchard. It had never been the kind of orchard that had neat rows of fruit trees, all nice and organised. This one liked to grow wild, with tall grass that went up to the knees and tangled – even if right now it was all dryed out by the summer heat. The trees were growing where they wanted, all disaligned and crooked and sometimes wildly out of season – peaches and figs were regular august fruits, but the apples shouldn't have been there yet, all ripe and ready to be harvested. Ginny had grown up next to the out-of-time orchard though, and for her it was perfectly regular – it was how things were. The tree with both peaches and apples to her left was still a little odd. Ginny felt at peace in the orchard, amids the sounds of insects buzzing and birds chirping, sounds of life. She supposed she should be hot, the radio had said something about “hottest summer in quite a few years”, but she only felt cold.   
They had buried Fred not two months ago. They had buried Colin. They had buried and buried so many people and all the while the sun had been insultingly shining. Bright as it was, it couldn't warm her. She was as cold and dead as the loved ones lowered onto the ground, one after the other.  
When finally the burials were over, there was nothing else she could find to do. She barely felt at home in the Burrow. It was too empty, the only people there other than her being her parents, Ron and Harry, and... George. If George could be considered “there”. He barely left his room, the only time he went out had been for Fred's burial, and he had laid down on the grave for hours before Apparating home without a word for anybody. She didn't think he had talked since.   
She breathed on her hands. Thinking of Fred and George made her even colder.   
The house was about to be emptier still. Ron and Harry were leaving today for Australia, to accompany Hermione retrieve her parents. She probably should have asked more about it, but asking and being interested in anything was all so tiring. And things were awkward with Harry.  
They had tried to be lovers again for a few weeks of summer. She had done her best at first, she thought she should want it. She had wanted it for years, and now that she could have her peace and her fairytale ever after, she found it wanting. If she was honest with herself, being with Harry tasted like war. Everything did anyway, but this more than most things. She wasn't sure she had the energy to find her happy ending, but at least Harry deserved the chance to try.  
She had sat down with him, an August night at the Burrow. It was a good time for it, she reasoned; he and Hermione and Ron were going to Australia to search for Hermione's parents in a few days, he would be with his friends and out in the world, not in an incomplete house.  
He had looked at her that night, and he probably knew, but she had to say it and he let her.  
“This won't work,” she had said. “I tried my best, but I'm not sure I can try my best anymore. I'm too tired. I don't know what I want anymore, but I'm not the same person that I was before this last year. It's not fair to you.”  
Harry had had the nerve to smile at her. It was a sad smile, a mourning smile, but he still had the strength to do it. She missed the days when she thought she was strong.   
“It's not fair to either of us. It's not your fault, Gin.” He looked away, pained. “I probably should have done more to help you... “  
She had punched him in the shoulder then, her face flushed. “Don't you dare blame yourself, Harry Potter. You don't have to always save everyone. You have done more than enough. I don't need you to save me – again.”  
She knew she hadn't convinced him, but she needed to tell herself that she had tried. She owed Harry to try.  
Harry had sighed. He knew better than to argue with her. And maybe he was tired, too. “Okay.” he said, looking like it very much wasn't okay. “We can be friends again?”  
They tried. They were still trying.   
She was ashamed to be glad that he was going away.

And she was going back to Hogwarts in a week. She dreaded it. She said that she had to go back, she had to move on, that it would be fine. She wasn't sure it would, but home was very far from fine anyway, too.   
And Luna was also going back. She had been Ginny's bright spot all summer. They didn't see each other that often, but sometimes they both managed to escape their homes at the same time and meet out in the fields. Ginny got the feeling that it wasn't all good at Luna's home too. She did know that her father had tried to sell Harry to the Death Eaters when Luna had been imprisoned, and she wasn't sure if she could have forgiven that. She didn't know if Luna did. They never talked of the war.  
Luna talked about the shape of the clouds (when no clouds were there she made up some), and Ginny talked about the last Quidditch match she followed. Sometimes they didn't talk. Sometimes they talked about the upcoming school year like all was normal. They were both going into seventh year, even if they could have redone their sixth year (that was way above what Ginny felt she could possibly do).  
Apparently Luna wouldn't come today, though. She raised, stretching herself to bring some heat into her muscles, and went back to her too-empty house.

*

Hogwarts wasn't better, after all. It was different, she supposed. Some people didn't come back. Her year was smaller than ever. But there were kids, the first-year muggleborn kids, who hadn't known the war. There was a schedule to follow. She could grasp that, with all her might, and try to keep her head afloat.   
She could pretend she was fine, and she could pretend she was “moving on”. 

She really wasn't. Sometimes when she walked in the corridors, the conversations and laughs were muted and she suddenly heard cries and smelt smoke. Her heart was still stuck at war.  
And she couldn't go in the place where Fred had fallen.   
At least Luna was there, and Luna didn't ask. Luna didn't press. It was the one friend she didn't want to avoid. It was probably unhealthy to rely only on her like that. 

And she was almost late for Transfiguration again. She slipped through the door and fell to her seat just before McGonagall arrived. The older witch gave her a piercing look in passing, still as authoritative as ever despite her cane and limping, and Ginny hastily tried to smooth her hair while Luna helped adjust her tie.   
“Well. I hope everyone is ready for the first Human Transfiguration lesson.”   
An interested murmur spread to the class, which the professor silenced with a look.  
“If you wish to achieve a Newt in Transfiguration, it is absolutely essential that you understand and display some degree of proficiency in it. I am not expecting anyone to master it, but you can certainly strive for it.”   
She paused and looked at everyone in the class. “You have been accepted into Newt-level Transfiguration because you are all very good with this subject. All of you. Of course, you know that Human Transfiguration is closely related to the Animagus transformation.”   
Ginny raised her head, an arrow of interest piercing through her inner fog.  
“If anyone want to try the Animagus transformation, I forbid you to try it alone. You can, and will, come to me before any attempt. If you succeed at it, you will need to be registered. Are we clear?”   
She nodded along with the rest of the class. Most of them would try, she knew. And most would probably give up or just lack the capacity to achieve it. It surprised her that she wanted to try. Maybe she could be a bird, and just fly...  
McGonagall tapped her wand to the chalkboard and she snapped to attention. If she wanted to have any chance at succeeding, she had to follow everything. Not daydream.  
She found her determination and held it close as she listened intently to the professor. It had been a long time since she had had any sort of goal. If she didn't feed it, it would die again. She had to grasp that, with all her might.

“I can't wait to start trying the Animagus transformation” she told Luna after the lesson. “Maybe I could be a bird! I love to fly on a broom already, so with wings.... “ she blinked, struck by a thought. “I don't think I have flown other than at Quidditch practice this year. I... forgot about it.”  
Luna looked at her seriously, and nodded. “I'm glad to see that you are back. Or some of you, anyway.”   
Ginny didn't even need to ask what Luna was talking about, and she didn't want to pretend like she did. They walked together a little. “Will you try to become an animagus?”  
“No.” Luna's tone was certain, definitive. “I am exactly who I want to be. I won't try.” She smiled at Ginny and continued in a lighter tone, closer to her usual: “I can accompany you to the Pitch tonight, if you want to fly.”   
Ginny accepted the change of subject. “I think this would be a good idea. After dinner?”

Flying again, just for the sake of flying, was perfect. Luna had taken a broom too, but stayed lower and drifted slowly. She did look content, though, so Ginny didn't feel like she was here only for her sake. She still checked regularly that Luna didn't look bored or put out. Sometimes Luna waved at her when she noticed her looking, an almost white, ethereal figure in the moonlight. Ginny went for loopings, went higher and higher and then dived suddenly, and then higher back to the stars.  
It was a blessed night.  
Tomorrow she would have to try to live in the castle again, but tonight was a night of freedom.

*

Life goes on, they said, and apparently it was sort of true. She never was late to Transfiguration again. Even if she didn't progress on the animagus transformation, she still went to McGonagall to try again. They won against Ravenclaw in Quidditch, a close match but still a win. She went flying with or without Luna sometimes – mostly with Luna. She liked to have a friend to share the moonlight and the stars with. She didn't think of the empty Burrow, and refused to think about the war even when she saw its imprint on the castle walls. If she avoided the place where Fred died, she could function well. She even talked to other people besides Luna, and the Gryffindor girls welcomed her back warmly.  
It was fine. It was fine. She was healed.  
Until Christmas came and she went back home.

Christmas at the Burrow had been awful. Ginny didn't think that Fred's absence could have been more glaring than it had been in the summer, but she had been wrong. Most of the time George had seemed so small, like he was the one who had died, yet it was somehow less heartbreaking than when between a breath and another he suddenly looked alive, searched for Fred with a joke half-told on his lips, and then remembered and died again a little more. They had all tried to fake Christmas cheer most of the time, they had decorated the tree and the house, and Ginny had felt that it would have been better if they could just have given up on trying to celebrate and just acknowledged that nothing was right. Sometimes in the dead of night she had gone down to the living room and huddled with a sibling or a parent in front of the fire, saying nothing and thinking of what they had lost. Christmas lights were softly shining on them, and Ginny didn't even have the energy to feel like they were mocking them. She knew they weren't anyway. She had helped put them here, with her now-usable wand. She found it ironic that she hadn't been able to use her wand like she wanted when there was a war, but now that it was peacetime she could, and all because she turned seventeen.   
Life goes on, they said. At the Burrow, she realized it didn't. Not for George. Not for the part of her that didn't pretend.  
When she went back to Hogwarts, Luna had disappeared.

She wasn't missing of course – not this time. She saw her in the classes they shared, and sometimes at meals from afar. She always ate promptly, got up and disappeared. Ginny was used to Luna taking her time and daydreaming. She never did anymore, from what Ginny could see – she always had somewhere to go to, a sharp focus replacing her previous unfocused look.   
It was an obvious change, and it had taken Ginny two weeks to properly notice it. She was ashamed. People always thought that Luna was only half-there, but if someone she cared about had changed that much and that fast, she would have noticed immediately. She would have been there, and she wouldn't have asked but she would have been a presence, a shoulder to lean on, a friend to trust. Like she had been for Ginny since they started their seventh year.  
Luna wouldn't have asked, but Ginny wasn't good at silent support.  
"Luna, where are you disappearing every day?"   
Charms class was the perfect place to have this conversation. It always was a joyous mess, even (or especially) in seventh year, when you had finished the theoretical part of the lesson and jumped into practice.   
"Oh, I'm helping Hagrid with a thing." She nudged the mouse in front of them with her wand. They were supposed to make it sing. It let out a croak.   
"Nice, Luna. That almost sounded like Ron singing. I think you're close." She flicked her wand at the mouse, who just gave her a sullen look. "Do you mind telling me what thing?"  
Luna shook her head, then turned her head towards the mouse, appearing like she was studying it. Yet, her eyes didn't quite follow its movements. Ginny waited. She had never been patient, but she refused to push.  
Luna nodded to herself. "I suppose I can show you. Come with me tonight?"  
The mouse behind them started loudly singing a bawdy song, hastily silenced by a very red Flitwick.  
"Sure" she whispered to Luna, while their professor reluctantly awarded points.  
She readied her wand. Maybe she could get their mouse to continue the song. 

*

The forest was silent, the only noises their boots crunching on snow. It was a little eerie, like the forest was evaluating her, observing her. She wasn't afraid. She had Luna to guide her, and she didn't come here to do harm. She stepped in Luna's footsteps to avoid disturbing the forest more, to make it feel like she wasn't even here. She didn't quite feel here herself, but at least she was calm. Luna was here and all she had to do was follow. She could do that much. Luna didn't talk, either, and didn't turn to watch her – she trusted her to follow, but it felt to Ginny that she wasn't here, even for Luna. She didn't care much, she was too distant to care.   
Luna didn't ask her if she was fine, and she was grateful for it. Luna never asked her if she was fine. It was soothing, not having to lie and make up something because she wasn't anything at all, so no she wasn't fine.   
The moon didn't light up their path of course, not in the forest with the trees overhead, so they had only the light of Luna's wand to go by. Ginny could have gotten her wand out, but it seemed like so much effort that she didn't make a move to reach it in her pocket. Left foot, right foot, left foot, in Luna's path, that was all she could manage.   
The snow was a lot thinner here, and she could see broken branches – it wasn't a well-traveled path by any means, but it was obviously used.   
"Are we supposed to be here?" she whispered, unwilling to break the quiet of the woods.  
"Oh, yes. I asked Hagrid. It said that it was fine, since you were a girl."   
Ginny's eyebrows shot up. "What has being a girl to do with that?"   
"You'll see." Luna turned to her, her soft smile illuminated by the light of her wand. She looked out of this world. Ginny's heart beat a little faster, and she was hot all of a sudden.   
She cleared her throat. "Is it close?"  
"Just a little farther, you'll see it soon."  
They walked in companionable silence, Ginny's head spinning. Why had she reacted like that? She saw Luna's face every day, and she never thought much about it. Now abruptly she was thinking that she looked like a dream and that her hair glistened in the moonlight and... She bit the inside of her cheek. At night in the Forbidden Forest, confusing thoughts could be dangerous. Yes, that was the only reason why she wouldn't think about this. Really.  
She forced herself to focus and quickened her pace to catch up to Luna. She could now see a soft glow just a little distance away.   
Luna stopped and turned to her. "There's a clearing just ahead" she whispered. "Don't make sudden movements and keep your voice down, okay? It's important." She waited for Ginny to nod, and led her to the clearing.

The quiet of the forest was different now, kinder, softer. Ginny let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, and followed Luna toward the tent.   
“I'll go inside first. Wait for me here, I will tell you when you can come.” As an afterthought, she added, “You should probably light up your wand? Or you can just watch the stars. They're pretty today.” She disappeared through the fabric and Ginny couldn't hear her anymore at all. Probably a silencing charm. She raised her eyes to the stars and tried to see that they were pretty today, but she couldn't muster enough enthusiasm. They were just stars. And lighting up her wand was too much work.  
But she felt safe here. She sat her back to the heat of the tent and waited.  
She must have dozed off, as Luna had to shake her awake.  
“You can come now.”   
The inside of the tent was brightly lit. Ginny blinked rapidly, blinded for a few seconds, and looked in front of her.  
Then she closed her eyes, and looked again.   
It was an unicorn, lying down in the grass. It seemed to glow, its golden fur reflecting the light of a nearby lamp that was left there. Intelligent eyes were studying Ginny intently, with a touch of wariness. She knew she was being judged and stayed rooted to the spot.  
Luna addressed the unicorn softly. "This is my friend. It would be nice if you could be friend with her, too, but it's your decision."   
It gave no outward sign of having heard her, but after a moment that seemed like an eternity to Ginny, it turned its head toward Luna's bag and sniffed. Now that she wasn't caught in its gaze, she noticed that one of its hind legs was bandaged.  
"She accepted your presence, for now. Don't touch her still, she's not a foal." Luna slowly advanced towards her – patient?   
Ginny's brain caught up to Luna's words. "Why isn't it – I mean she – white? I thought only the foals were golden?" She hadn't taken Care of Magical Creatures but like a lot of wizardly children she had an unicorn phase when she was around six.   
Now that she looked more closely, it was true that the unicorn was too big to be a foal. The fact that the color was off and that she was laying down had messed up with Ginny's perception of her at first.  
"Usually, yes. This one didn't turn silver, and so didn't turn white either. I don't know why, and I'm not sure that's important?" Luna kneeled at a respectable distance from the wounded creature and put a hand in her bag. "She's all alone, because of it, I think. And she got hurt." She took out a bunch of carrots. "Hagrid asked me to help her. He told me that he thought I could do it, and that she would prefer me to him." She sounded proud.   
Ginny nodded. "Well, you're one of his best students after all."  
"Is that so?” she smiled a little at the unicorn, whose eyes had lit up with interest when she had spotted the carrots. “I'm just trying to understand all forms of life. I don't know if that makes me one of the best. It doesn't matter, I think. What matters is that he trusted me with her.”   
She moved forward slowly and put the carrots next to the head of the creature, one after the other. She murmured encouraging words and backed away, casting several spells on the bandaged leg.   
Seemingly satisfied, she walked back to Ginny and waved to the unicorn who was on her second carrot already.   
“She's nice, right? Let's go back, it's a little cold.”   
It was. And Ginny had forgotten to renew her warming charm. She had been to busy looking at Luna, and at the unicorn, and back at Luna taking care of her “friend” - no, scratch that: it was Luna, the unicorn was probably really her friend. 

They took the path they had created in the snow when they came, and Ginny's thoughts started to assault her again. She would think of all this later, but for now she shoved them to the back of her mind and decided to speak of anything else.  
“Isn't it dangerous for her to stay there alone, while she's injured?”  
Luna looked back at her, surprised. “Oh, no. Nobody would try to attack an unicorn. And she doesn't want to leave the forest.”   
“And isn't it dangerous for you to come here all alone?”  
“I'm not alone, you're here?”  
Ginny tried again. “I mean, when I'm not here.”   
“I don't think so. The forest knows me. And I'm careful. It was more dangerous last...”  
“Don't talk about last year.” Ginny snapped, her fists clenched, startling herself. Her heart was pounding in her ears. Luna fell silent. She grimaced and tried to soften her words. “I mean... I'm sorry. But don't talk about last year.”  
“Alright. I understand.” Luna turned and took Ginny's hands in hers. They were warm and soft and calming and the touch warmed her more than her Charms. Ginny's pulse quickened. “I really do. But one day we will talk about last year.” She made it sound inevitable. Ginny nodded.  
And then she was off again like that moment hadn't happened, like she could just take her hands and look in her eyes like that and not think anything of it.   
The forest let them out in the moonlight.   
“I would like if you came back with me to see her, sometimes. You need her as a friend, too.”  
Ginny didn't think that she needed or even could have an unicorn as a friend, but she didn't feel like arguing. She was tired.   
“I would like that too.”  
That night, even alone in her bed, she cradled the first few feelings of warmth she had felt in months. Warmth felt like Luna.  
She was cold again when she woke up the next day. It was still night out, and the window was freezing under her fingers. But she could see the moon, the same moon that she walked under with Luna, and she had the memory of warmth. 

*

The unicorn was starting to get better little by little.   
“Here, you can try the diagnosis spells” Luna had said. “You can't hurt her even if you don't do them right, so it'll be fine. I'll show you.” She traced a pattern in the air with her wand. “You have to think about her blood, and her life, and her magic.”  
“Is there no incantation?”  
“Not for this one, or I never learned it. Let me take your hand and I'll make you feel the correct movements.”   
Luna's hand was warm and light. It flooded Ginny with warmth, starting with her hand. It was hard to feel the wand movements, so encompassed she was with the sensation of Luna's skin on hers. She felt alive.  
She was starting to get better little by little.

“Do you want to take care of animal creatures after Hogwarts?” Ginny had barely given any thought to what her friends or herself would do after they finished school. She hadn't been sure she'd survive the war, and then just living day to day had been enough. But she should have been interested in what her friends would want to do, surely?   
“I want to become a magizoologist. To find them and learn about them.” Luna frowned, unsure. “Sometimes healing them is important? But I'm not healing the unicorn for that. It's because she needs help, right now, and Hagrid thought it would be better if I handled it.”  
Ginny nodded. Hagrid had done them all a favor, and he probably didn't know that healing the unicorn also helped heal Ginny.

*

She was warm whenever she was with Luna. She even forgot the warming charms sometimes when they went to see the unicorn (who didn't have a name. She asked, and Luna had blinked at her and asked very slowly, why would she need one?). She was still cold when she walked in the corridors and when she remembered and when she tried to write to her family or to Harry and she Vanished her unfinished letters but she had the memory of warmth.   
She had carefully avoided thinking too much about it, always shaping her thoughts so that they avoided the subject, skirting around her feelings – she was just glad to be able to feel warm again, and if she could feel happiness, what was the harm? She didn't wish to tell anyone, much less Luna, she didn't wish to tell even herself what this was. Nobody had to know.  
Until one evening. They were back in the clearing, and the lamp was softly glowing, undisturbed, but the unicorn was gone.   
Luna just stood there, staring. The forest seemed ominous and dangerous suddenly, and sweat trickled on Ginny's back. An owl hooted and she jumped. The lamp was casting menacing shadows.   
There was a rustle behind them and she jumped, her wand ready to attack.  
Kind eyes, and gold – the unicorn was there! Her heart slowed down, and she heard Luna take a breath.   
“You can walk again! Are you happy?”   
She turned to Ginny, her face flushed and laughing, and embraced her.  
Her heart stopped briefly and started beating madly. Luna's touch burned, every nerve of her body was hypersensitive and she was hot, she could feel her blood flowing and chanting in her veins, and it was just too much. She was overflowing. She barely noticed her arms going up, embracing Luna – but this was appropriate, this was shared joy. She was choking, her throat constricted, vibrating with the need to bury her face in Luna's neck and to smell her, to taste her, to kiss her – but that wasn't appropriate. She bit her lips to restrain herself, so hard that she tasted blood and thought viciously that she deserved it for wanting to touch things that weren't hers.   
Luna was congratulating the unicorn and Ginny forced herself to smile, to nod, to say things she was supposed to say. She really was happy that the unicorn was walking again. She had trouble feeling it at the moment because she was swallowed by her other... emotions, that she had to keep in check, but she really was.   
She knew that she couldn't trust herself around Luna anymore, now. She had to back off. The unicorn was better now. And Luna didn't need her help in the first place.  
Sweet Luna, pure Luna, that could never know what Ginny felt – that wasn't what friends felt for each other. It wasn't right. 

*

She avoided Luna now, and Luna let her. It was probably because she felt that Ginny needed space. Probably. Or she had understood something the other night and she was relieved that Ginny had decided to be more distant. She tried very hard to not believe that, and sometimes she even succeeded.  
She still sat next to Luna in most classes that they had together. She still talked with her. But she didn't seek her out like she did before, she didn't ask to come see the unicorn again. She missed it, and she missed Luna.  
She was cold again, but she wasn't numb anymore. She was hyperaware of herself, especially when Luna was around. The cold prickled at her skin like a thousand needles. She deserved the cold. And she deserved to avoid Luna.   
She forced herself to breathe slowly, painfully. She needed to feel in control of herself again. Sometimes she felt like she had it, and then she thought of a light laugh, of dirty blonde hair, of the various quirks that made Luna herself, and she lost it again.   
Ginny had never gotten into the habits of talking at length about her feelings. She knew she needed help to clear her head, though. That was why she was sitting at a desk in a secluded corner of the library, uninteresting books around her so no one would bother her. She had been there for what felt like hours and still the parchment in front of her only read : Dear Hermione...   
She narrowed her eyes at it. Damn it all. She crossed it out forcefully, almost tearing the parchment, and wrote furiously.  
Hermione, you're good at being rational (even if you somehow ended up with my idiot brother). How do you stop lo feeling stuff for someone that doesn't feel stuff back? Help your future sister-in-law, please.  
She rolled the parchment and put it in her bag, bolted for the door, got silently scolded my Madam Pince, took the boring books back to their shelves and finally went to the Owlery. She didn't stop to think, if she did she would never send that. And she would be embarrassed and she didn't need that.  
She watched the school owl move away from Hogwarts, her “letter” tied to its leg, and only then did she allow herself to moan quietly “What have I done... “.  
Hermione could probably help. Or point her to a book that could help, maybe. Ginny snorted softly. It was still mortifying to ask. 

*

The reply arrived way too fast. It almost landed in her breakfast eggs but she saved it, and hid it in her bag away from the prying eyes of her housemates. She couldn't open that at the breakfast table in front of everyone, it was personal.  
And it gave her more time to push past her embarrassment before resigning herself to read it. She finished her breakfast at her usual pace, deflecting questions about her “embarrassing letter” (she had to take out her wand and threaten a Bat-Bogey Hex for the snickers to die away). All day the letter burned in her bag but she managed to not find any time at all to open it – Seventh year was busy after all, she had her NEWTs in a few months and the professors piled work on them.  
She couldn't avoid it anymore when she was back in her dorm, on her bed, with her curtains closed. She opened it, cringing, her eyes half closed like it would be easier to read that way.  
Dear Ginny,  
I am happy that you are feeling better enough to think of romance again. I am going to tell you something speaking of experience. Don't be like me with Ron, and talk to him. Are you sure he isn't interested? Did you ask him? You usually know how to handle these things better than I do?   
Ginny groaned. Of course Hermione would think the “someone” was a boy. It was to be expected. She couldn't help feeling disappointed, still. And ashamed to not be normal. Her hands gripped the parchment, crinkling the words. She smoothed it, taking deep breaths. This was fine.   
You seemed panicked, which leads me to believe something is wrong with this boy. Hermione sounded like her mother sometimes. Do you want to talk more about it? I'm always available to you, Ginny. You're a dear friend. But don't call yourself my future sister-in-law again, okay?   
The letter was easier to read after that. They had decided to rent an appartment together with Ron and Harry – Ginny felt her eyebrows rise, because wasn't it weird? But maybe not, after all. They must need to stay close all three together for a little while longer. She hoped Harry wouldn't end up feeling left out in his own appartment though, and it would be like him to just bear with it and not say anything. She made a mental note to write him soon. Hermione's parents were fine too, with no ill-effects of their Obliviation, but here Hermione didn't volunteer much information. She never wanted to discuss her parents much, and Ginny could respect that and give her time.  
Ginny sighed. She would have to explain it to Hermione, she supposed. It wasn't fair to ask for help and not give any informations.  
She started to reach for new parchment and took up a self-inking quill... and paused. She didn't know how to say it. Hi Hermione, I'm in fact talking about Luna?  
No. No, never. Her hand trembled, the quill got discarded.   
She would answer Hermione. But not today. Tomorrow, she vowed. She would find something tomorrow.

The next day, she wrote a letter to Hermione. She congratulated her on their new place to live. She called herself her future sister-in-law, because it made Hermione flush and pretend like she didn't like it. She didn't ask about Hermione's parents. She didn't say anything about Luna.  
She also wrote to Harry and asked him to please think of himself for once, and wasn't he tired of living with Ron after all those years?   
Hermione was right about something, she knew. She should talk to Luna.  
She tried to not avoid her anymore. But somehow, she could never find a way to broach the topic.   
She wasn't trying very hard, if she was honest with herself.   
She found she could spend time with Luna again, if she was very careful with herself. She couldn't bear to brush against her still. She could make things work and keep Luna as a friend.

And the unicorn walked more and more.  
“It's good, see? I think the bandage is ready to be taken off. I'll ask Hagrid and he'll watch me do it. He can't do it himself, obviously.”  
Ginny nodded. Hagrid was a man. The unicorn was wary of men, like all unicorns, even if this one was special.   
“I hope she won't be lonely... “  
Luna shook her head. Her hair glowed in the light. Ginny stared, and belatedly remembered to avoid her eyes. She briefly closed them, for good measure. “Oh, she won't, I think. She has friends now. Even if she's unique and without a herd, she still wants to get back to her life, anyway.”

*

Valentine's Day was coming up. It was turning out to be even more stressful than when she had waited for Harry to hear her poem in her first year.  
She could only hope that it wouldn't be as embarrassing at that fiasco.   
She had promised Hermione that she would ask “this person” on a date, and Ginny took her promises seriously.   
She suspected that Hermione had caught on that it wasn't a boy. Ginny had carefully avoided to mention a gender, and to someone perceptive like the older witch, it must have been obvious. She didn't push, and Ginny didn't feel ready to tell her. She had no problem telling herself that she had fallen in love with a girl, but other people... Not yet. Still, in her last few letters, Hermione had also carefully avoided to mention a gender. But she had told Ginny, in no uncertain terms, that it was time to try something. To be bolder. To do her best.  
And she was right. Ginny wasn't trying her best. She was afraid, but she wasn't a Gryffindor for nothing. She would push past the fear and ask.  
It didn't mean that she had to do it where other people were watching, mind. She walked slower than usual at the end of one of their Herbology lessons and Luna fell in step with her, letting the other people in their class move away from them.  
When they got far enough, Ginny gathered her courage (I'm a Lioness, she thought, I can do this). “So, you know Valentine's day is coming up.” she asked fake-casually.  
“Oh, yes, lots of people are talking about it. The girls are awaiting it, and the boys talk about it to say that they don't care” Luna frowned. “They seem to care a lot for people who don't care.”   
Ginny nodded absently. She was focusing on what she had to say. “There's a Hogsmeade week-end too. Valentine's Hogsmeade week-end. Would you go there with me?”  
Luna looked at her curiously. “We are always going in Hogsmeade together, so, are you asking me on a date? For Valentine's day?”  
Ginny flushed violently, her heart in her throat. The cat was out of the bag now, so what was the point of hiding anymore? “Yes, as a date. A romantic date.” She fought down the urge to apologize. She had the right to ask.   
She expected a “no” so much that when Luna answered “It's a date, then.” she started to say “Okay, I understand, it's.... what?”  
“I said yes.” Luna took her hand and slowly, carefully smiled. It was a smile crafted especially for her, slow to come and full of genuine affection. “I never had a romantic date. It will be fun.”   
Luna's hand was warm and soft and gently cradled hers, like Ginny was a scared animal in need of comfort (she felt like one, she had to give her that). She paused, seeming to consider something. “Am I your girlfriend now?”   
“...” Ginny cleared her throat and tried again. “I would like it. If you want to.”  
Luna beamed at her. “I have to go to Care of Magical Creatures, so I'll see you later!”  
She hurried away, leaving Ginny dazed and gaping after her. How could it have been so simple? All these weeks of doubt for that? She replayed and replayed the conversation in her mind, trying to understand if she had missed something and Luna thought they were going as friends after all, but it had been pretty clear right?   
She shook herself and started to walk to somewhere, anywhere. Where was she supposed to go? She had a free period before Transfiguration, she recalled. She planned it to be able to have a good cry somewhere alone after being rejected. Now that was out of the question, so she didn't know what to do with herself.  
She did have a date to plan. Her feet took her to the library, where she dutifully sat down and took out parchment and a quill.  
Then she stared at it and blushed and thought incoherently of Luna, and had to hurry to McGonagall's class before being late.  
It took almost setting her desk on fire for her to snap back to attention and come back to the real world.  
She had a girlfriend. Luna was her girlfriend.   
She still had a date to plan. How does one go on a date with Luna Lovegood?   
Ginny had no idea. She hadn't thought that far. She was only certain of one thing. They were not going to Madam Puddifoot's.  
Usually Ginny liked to go at the Quidditch Supplies shop, but it wasn't Luna's thing. And it was supposed to be a date. It wasn't Ginny's first, but it was the first one with a girl. 

*

It was a little stilted. And it was her fault. Luna was acting natural, but Ginny was a bundle of nerve and the littlest of touches made her stomach knot. It should be easier now that it was... official... but she only felt inadequate.  
And it was even a beautiful day. The snow had fallen earlier, and now some sun was coming from in between the clouds. Hogsmeade gleamed, like a perfect little village you could see on a postcard. It was a perfect day, and she failed to enjoy it, which made her angry and fail even more to enjoy it. She fell silent after a while, her hands clenched in her cloak. What was she supposed to do? To say? How was she supposed to act? She didn't want to casually take Luna's hand in the street, it felt scary, like a proclamation to the world. She kicked a little at the snow while following Luna in the streets – they had left the main street and even after several years of visiting the village she wasn't sure where they were...   
Luna stopped and turned to her. They were in a charming little street. One window even had little flowerpots (with flowers in bloom?) in front of it. No one was in sight to see Luna place her gloved hand on Ginny's cheek.  
She shivered. Luna cradled her cheek and came to stand very close to her. She was a little taller than Ginny, but not by much, and she had to stand on her toes to kiss her brow. It was the softest of touches, and even if Luna's lips were cold it she felt herself burn inside.  
It made Ginny realize that she had been frowning for who knew how long.   
“I'm a mess.”  
Luna laughed softly. “I know that. You always were.”  
She tilted her head, and with a start Ginny realised she wanted to kiss her on the lips. She closed her eyes, her body tensing and shivering with anticipation, and nodded almost imperceptibly.  
Luna's lips brushed hers and she forgot everything else – her worries, her apprehensions, her questions becoming insignificant. She got her hands out and grabbed at Luna's cloak, gently tugging her closer. She laughed against Luna's lips, the tension leaving her, what was she even worried about in the first place? She kissed her again, and kissed the corner of her mouth, and buried her face in her neck like she had always dreamed of doing. She fit nicely in Luna's arms, and Luna fit nicely in hers, like they were meant to embrace each other. 

*

Luna, Ginny learned, loved to paint. It wasn't something she liked to show. She was doing it for herself, in a quiet little room in the castle or out in the grounds, on a spot where nobody usually came.   
Contrary to what Ginny would have thought, she preferred the room to the grounds. “It's just for me” Luna said, taping the door with her wand. It swung open with a creak. “It's just for me, but I want to share it with you.” Ginny felt warm, knowing that it was an honor, a show of trust.  
She stepped inside, mindful of her steps. It was colorful and light, with great windows that opened on various sceneries – obviously magical windows. They were deep inside the castle. The stones of the walls were painted with vibrant colors, some of them shimmering in the sunlight – there seemed to be a pattern to it, and Ginny had it on the tip of her tongue, like something she should recognize. It always seemed like Luna did things at random, but usually there was a deeper meaning only visible to her, and sometimes Ginny could almost feel it.  
She never did understand it though, and today was no exception.  
Thankfully, she didn't have to understand it to be able to love it.  
A cupboard was to the side of the room.   
“It's where I keep my paintings.” Luna started to go towards it then hesitated.   
“If you don't want to show them to me, that's fine.” Ginny said, soothing. It was like stepping into Luna's soul. She didn't want to force anything. “Just being there is already... a lot.” She peered at a window. “It looks like the castle grounds in summer but...”  
Luna came to lean against her. She looked relieved and Ginny was glad she told her it was fine. “I spelled them like I want to see them.”  
“Spelled?”  
“Yes. I paint things, but the windows are spelled. It's painting charms, but with a little more.” She smiled at Ginny. “With more soul.”

Abruptly she turned and went to the center of the room. A tap of her wand and a little table and paint appeared.   
“I want to paint you. I tried but.... “ She looked at Ginny and blushed. It was a rare sight. Luna was always at ease with herself and how she was. In this place, she was different. She experimented things she wasn't sure of. “It didn't come out right. I needed you there. And I wanted you there.”   
“You want to do it right away?”  
“If you're ready to?”   
Ginny tapped her fingers to her chin and cocked her head. “Should I strip?” Luna dropped her paintbrush while Ginny laughed. “I'm just kidding. What should I do?”  
“Well.” Luna was carefully not looking at Ginny. “You could strip a little.”   
Ginny gaped at her, but Luna was still looking everywhere else. Anticipation made her heart beat faster. Trembling a little, she unbuttoned her cape and let it fall to the floor. She conjured a plush armchair in front of Luna and kicked her shoes off.   
Luna was very carefully not moving and one hand partially covered her face, but she could see her eyes shining and watching her every move.   
It made her feel hot and bold. She removed her socks in a fluid movement and undid her tie.   
She unbuttoned her shirt and then threw her legs on the side of the armchair and leaned in, letting her shirt fall open.   
She couldn't dare look at Luna, but she heard her suck in a breath. Then, slowly, the paintbrush started to dance on the canvas.

*

Kissing Luna was an adventure. There were all sort of kisses. Stolen kisses in the corridors when no one was looking. Soft and slow kissing just at the edge of the forbidden forest, with no one but the animals to see. Fiery kisses who tasted like smoke in the Room of Requirements with its blackened walls. Undone kisses in the great hall, in class, where people were. Perfect kisses and imperfect kisses, where faces bumped and synchronization just wasn't there.  
There was only one sort of kisses. Secret kisses.

Ginny never told anyone she had a girlfriend. Her friends noticed she was different. They thought she had a “secret boyfriend”. They were close, in a way, but they were also so far off.  
Hermione probably knew, but she had learned not to ask.

Luna never pushed. She didn't care if they didn't show the world, she said, and that almost sounded true.   
Ginny knew that Luna didn't care what other people thought. She had had to learn not to care. She didn't want to show the world, and that was true. But she wanted to be able to be herself. She had always been herself, even when it cost her, because she thought that if you couldn't what was the point?   
It made Ginny want to be herself, too. But everytime she opened her mouth to say “actually, I have a girlfriend”, the words got stuck in her throat. Every time she wanted to hold or kiss Luna where people could see, she couldn't move. Every time she tried to write it, she waited so long that the ink on her quill dried up.  
In the end, Harry saved her. Again.   
He had asked to see her on a Hogsmeade weekend. “It's important”, he wrote, “and I have to tell you directly.”   
He sounded so serious and worried that she didn't even think to joke about it.  
They were in the Three Broomsticks and Harry fiddled with his drink and tried to talk of trivial things. He couldn't seem to bring himself to say what was on his mind.   
Abruptly he seemed to steel himself, took out his wand under the table and muttered “Muffliato”.  
Ginny raised her eyebrows. It was that sensitive?  
“I'm living with Ron and Hermione, you know.” He took a deep breath. “We live together. Because we're together. All three of us.”  
Ginny blinked, failing to form a coherent thought. Harry was looking anxiously at her.  
She made up her mind on the spur of the moment. He deserved to know too.  
“I'm with Luna. Nobody else knows.” She thought and amended, “Hermione might.”   
Harry smiled a little. “Hermione knows a lot of things.” There was such love in that soft smile that Ginny didn't need to ask, but she did anyway.   
“Are you happy?”  
“I'm getting there. Are you?”  
“I'm getting there, too.”  
He held up his hand, and she took it. It didn't taste like war anymore. It didn't smell like death and smoke.  
“I'm glad I told you. And that you told me.”  
Tomorrow, she would tell the world.  
Life was good.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love kudos and nice comments! I hope you enjoyed it.


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